M.A.R.S. COMMAND SYSTEM v19.48
MARTIAN AEROSPACE RESEARCH STATION
INITIALIZING SYSTEMS...
> life_support.check ............. [OK]
> weapons_array.load ............. [OK]
> earth_targeting.calibrate ...... [OK]
> illudium_q36.charge ............ [CHARGING]
> kaboom_protocol.arm ............ [STANDBY]
COMMANDER: MARVIN
MISSION: DESTROY EARTH
STATUS: IN PROGRESS
"This makes me very angry. Very angry indeed."
M.A.R.S. COMMAND CENTER
COMMANDER MARVIN
SYSTEMS ONLINE
WEAPON HOT
RADAR DISPLAY
Earth targeted on radar
TARGET ACQUIRED
EARTH — SOL SYSTEM
DISTANCE
225,000,000 km
STATUS
LOCKED
MISSION BRIEFING
Commander Marvin

"WHERE'S THE KABOOM?"

There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!

$MARVIN has been waiting 2 billion years to destroy that silly little planet. Now he's on Solana. The mission continues.

CA: 5diMAeRBeW6xZjgKLPsDUB2hAQXFQfTTCxHSG1u1pump
INITIATE KABOOM
WEAPON STATUS
Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator
ILLUDIUM Q-36
EXPLOSIVE SPACE MODULATOR
0% CHARGED
YIELD
∞ MT
RANGE
1 AU
⚠ AWAITING COMMANDER INPUT
ARM WEAPON
CLASSIFIED

Mission Objectives

OBJECTIVE 01
COMPLETE
Locate Earth

Earth has been located in the Sol system. Third planet from the star. Primitive species present. Obstruction of Martian view confirmed. Must be removed.

VERIFIED ✓
OBJECTIVE 02
IN PROGRESS
Charge Weapon

The Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator is charging. Gathering $MARVIN accelerates the charge rate. Every holder brings us closer to kaboom.

87% PROGRESS
OBJECTIVE 03
PENDING
Execute Kaboom

Deploy the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator and create the earth-shattering kaboom. This time, nothing will stop us. Probably.

AWAITING
TOP SECRET

Commander Dossier

PERSONNEL FILE — EYES ONLY
Commander Marvin
DESIGNATION MARVIN
RANK Commander, Martian Army
SPECIES Martian
AGE 2,000,000,000+ years
STATUS Very Angry Indeed
MISSION HISTORY
  • Attempted Earth destruction: 247 times
  • Foiled by Earth creatures: 247 times
  • Current mood: Disappointed but persistent
FAMOUS TRANSMISSIONS
"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!"
"This makes me very angry. Very angry indeed."
"You have made me very angry. Very angry indeed."
"Oh, drat these computers! They're so naughty and so complex!"
TOKEN $MARVIN
NETWORK Solana
CA: 5diMAeRBeW6xZjgKLPsDUB2hAQXFQfTTCxHSG1u1pump
ACQUIRE $MARVIN
IMMINENT

Kaboom Countdown

TIME UNTIL EARTH DESTRUCTION
0
0
:
0
0
:
0
0
HOURS
MINUTES
SECONDS
(Delayed again...)
"Delays, delays... always delays."
OPEN CHANNEL

Communications Array

TRANSMISSION CHANNELS ● ACTIVE
CHANNEL 01: X (TWITTER) Receive mission updates from Commander Marvin
CONNECT ▸
CHANNEL 02: ACQUIRE $MARVIN Fund the Earth destruction mission
ENGAGE ▸
CONTRACT FREQUENCY: 5diMAeRBeW6xZjgKLPsDUB2hAQXFQfTTCxHSG1u1pump